It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way...
This is the archive of the #N IRC Quotes Repository.
Only displaying quotes submitted by jtbandes. You can remove this filter.
|[20:19] <Ampersand> But still :L
[20:19] <jtbandes> :Î“
[20:19] <Orange> Does anyon-- WHAT THE FUCK JT
|* KinGAleX sets ban on Global_Warming!*@*
<thecalcgenius> "In current news today, a lone citizen of Australia managed to befuddle the most experienced scientists of the world by completely eliminating global warming using just 38 characters of text."
|[19:05] <Yahoozy> LittleViking, I have a picture of you and me.
[19:06] <LittleViking> Do you, Yahoozy?
[19:06] <Yahoozy> LittleViking: http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/467/agayk9.jpg
[19:06] <LittleViking> That's not a picture of you, that's a picture of the Metanet Forums. I know what the Metanet Forums look like.
|[00:57] <squibbles> LV: I just found a pornsite that is worrying similar in name to you|
|[20:44] <CardBot> (52) MerMAN [All cards become attractive male cards, and target player becomes really ridiculously good-looking. +100 points.] has been played to the Atilla location.
[20:44] <Atilla> Hey! I'm already ridiculously good looking!
[20:45] <KinGAleX> Wait.
[20:45] <KinGAleX> That means my squirrel card is no longer a massage card.
|<max_ride> How late is it where everyone is?
<jtbandes> 10:13 PM.
<LittleViking> 10:10 PM
<LittleViking> Our timezones are 3 minutes off of each other.
|[20:40] <LittleViking> Haha, the octopus!|
|[17:33] <star_warstris> Mercenary 1: "You killed Outlaw 2! He had a wife and three kids! Wife 4, Kid 1, Kid 2, and Kid 7!"
[17:33] <star_warstris> Mass combat rules.
[17:33] <LittleViking> Ahahaha.
[17:33] <star_warstris> We figure that Kid 3 and Kid 4 actually belong to Postman 6.
|[12:29] <Jean-Luc> My point of advice: regularly dump the database. I recommend a cronjob that runs sqldump and moves the results somewhere else. you might even email them.
[12:30] <blue_tetris> A cronjob with sqldump?
[12:30] <blue_tetris> You made that shit up, get the fuck out.
|[19:49] <Base> Kabloxy!
[19:49] <Base> Collab?
[19:49] <Kabloxy> Dude, I just spent the last month pumping out 700 maps. I think I'm spent for a while.
[19:49] <Base> Prease?
[19:50] <Kabloxy> I don't want to see N until August.
[19:50] <Kabloxy> Actually, it kinda was like giving birth.
[19:50] <Kabloxy> Birth to SEVEN HUNDRED LITTLE UNGRATEFUL MAP-BASTARDS.
[19:51] <Kabloxy> I have to pay each one of their mothers. ;_;
|[18:45] <Dylan> N pet peeve #72: Forgetting to put Caps Lock off after testing a map and then typing in IM, causing the other person to wonder why you are screaming at them about a pencil. X_X|
|[12:18] <Sept|Away> Yahoozy, if I made a spanish video DVD, with extras, including the first vid, commentary, and tons of easter eggs?!
[12:19] <Yahoozy> Sept, if that is a sentence fragment in the form of a question?!
|[16:12] <ChaosWolf> This meatloaf tastes funny.
[16:12] <ChaosWolf> Like, there's this extremely sticky white gooey stuff in ut,
[16:12] <ChaosWolf> it*
[16:12] <Atilla> That's what she said.
[16:13] <Atilla> You all knew that was coming.
[16:13] <ChaosWolf> There's also a huge slab of meat slipping down my throat.
[16:13] <Gforce> Innuendo?
[16:13] <ChaosWolf> No
[16:14] <Atilla> That's what she would have said had her throat not been blocked by a huge slab of meat.
[16:14] <Gforce> Hahaha
[16:14] <Alphy> Err.
[16:14] <Alphy> Haha.
[16:14] <Gforce> Hi notkitt
[16:14] <ChaosWolf> I'd like to block /her/ slab with my throat.
[16:15] <ChaosWolf> Russia Reverasal FTW
[16:15] <ChaosWolf> Russian*
[16:15] <Gforce> You mean- oh, okay
[16:15] <Atilla> I'd like to /her/ /her/ /her/ /her/ your mom /her/ she said.
|[20:46] * Vert00ff00 (46010e0b@wpe-AED9DAAE.mibbit.com) has joined #1KBWC
[20:49] <Vert00ff00> !START
[20:49] <CardBot> The game has been started (deck 1kbwc). Add players, etc.
[20:52] <Vert00ff00> !addlib ABC
[20:52] <CardBot> Library ABC has been added to the game.
[20:53] <Vert00ff00> !masspass Deck ABC
[20:53] <CardBot> All cards have been moved from library Deck to library ABC.
[20:54] <Vert00ff00> !addplayer Vert00ff00
[20:54] <CardBot> Player Vert00ff00 has been added to the game.
[20:55] <Vert00ff00> !masspass ABC Vert00ff00
[20:55] <CardBot> All cards have been moved from library ABC to library Vert00ff00.
[20:56] <Vert00ff00> !hand
[20:56] * CardBot has quit (Excess Flood)
[20:57] <Vert00ff00> oh shit
[20:57] <Vert00ff00> Uh
[20:57] <Vert00ff00> crap
[20:58] <Vert00ff00> Okay, I'd just like to say that I'm completely responsible for this
[20:58] <Vert00ff00> I'ms really sorry and it won't happen again
[20:58] <Vert00ff00> I'm*
[21:01] <Vert00ff00> !endgame
[21:01] <Vert00ff00> oh... duh...
[21:07] * Vert00ff00 has quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
|[19:58] <blue_tetris> Okay, so there's this businessman who's flying to Europe for a business trip.
[19:58] <Atilla> Your /prima facie/ is a joke.
[19:58] <wedgie> blue_tetris, where did the soviet russia thing start then?
[19:58] <Sgt_Poptarts> Atilla, I just stole your ocarina
[19:58] <blue_tetris> He's going to be leaving his wife alone in his house for a few weeks and he's very concerned that she might cheat on him with the pool boy.
[19:59] <Sgt_Poptarts> Anyway, I have to go.
[19:59] <blue_tetris> The businessman needs to find a way to keep his wife occupied during his absense so that she doesn't sleep around.
[19:59] <Sgt_Poptarts> I may be on tommorrow.
[19:59] <Atilla> Bah. Ocarinas are so two decades ago.
[19:59] * Jakel plays an ocarina.
[19:59] <blue_tetris> Unfortunately, this realization only hits him the night before his trip.
[19:59] <Atilla> It's all about conductor's batons now.
[19:59] <Sgt_Poptarts> I also stole Zelda...and screwed her.
[19:59] <Jakel> Two decades ago, you say?
[20:00] <Atilla> No, I type.
[20:00] <blue_tetris> It's 3 AM and there's no way that he figures he'll be able to find something to sate his wife's thirst for the carnal before his trip at 5 AM.
[20:00] <Atilla> b_t, I think I've heard this one.
[20:00] <blue_tetris> So, panicked, he hits the town, looking for strange stores which may still be open at this hour.
[20:00] <blue_tetris> (I tell it better in person.)
[20:00] * Sgt_Poptarts has quit (Quit: )
[20:00] <blue_tetris> In his traveling the town, he simply can't find a single open store.
[20:01] * Sept is now known as Sept|Away
[20:01] <blue_tetris> He gives up hope and starts back towards his house, when suddenly he peers down an alley and spots a mystical lavender light.
[20:01] <blue_tetris> Fog and smoke pours from the alley and the smell of juniper invites his sense to investigate.
[20:02] <blue_tetris> He wanders down the alleyway, smoke congregating around him. His vision is overwhelmed. He's blinded by the fog.
[20:02] <blue_tetris> Suddenly, the fog clears and he's standing in a tiny shop, never having open its door to gain entry.
[20:02] <blue_tetris> "Wha? Where am I?!" he shouted into the bizarre scene.
[20:02] <Demonz> http://numa.notdot.net/map/82168
[20:03] <blue_tetris> "You're at Melinda's Mystical Halfway Store."
[20:03] <blue_tetris> "Halfway store?"
[20:03] <blue_tetris> "Yes," said the voice, "Halfway between the mortal realm and the beyond."
[20:03] <Demonz> Bye for now.
[20:03] * Demonz has quit (Quit: Chatzilla 0.9.77 [Firefox 22.214.171.124/2007021917])
[20:04] <blue_tetris> The business gazed across the room at a hunched over woman with dusky skin, stringy hair, and strange fetishes adorning her. Shrunken heads ornament a small obsidian crest along ehr forehead.
[20:04] <Atilla> Yes, I definately know this one.
[20:04] <blue_tetris> "What is it that you desire, seeker?" called Melinda from behind the counter.
[20:04] <Atilla> And since I'm the only one active...
[20:04] <Kashkin> /ignore everyone-that-isn't-Dave.
[20:04] <blue_tetris> "I fear... I fear that my wife will cheat on me when I leave for my business trip."
[20:05] <blue_tetris> "I see..." grinned the crone, "So you need something to 'occupy her' while you're away."
[20:05] <Atilla> OK, so I'm not. Sue me.
[20:05] <Kashkin> /sue Atilla
[20:05] <blue_tetris> "Yes," nodded the businessman, "Do you have what I desire?"
[20:05] <Atilla> Ahhh! Lawyers!
[20:05] * Atilla runs away.
[20:06] * blue_tetris swiches back to present tense abruptly, forgetting why he switched over to begin with.
[20:06] <blue_tetris> The shopkeep reaches beneath the counter and draws a wooden box into the light.
[20:06] <blue_tetris> She blows a puff of air, causing a cloud of dust to coil forth from the surface of the box.
[20:06] * wedgie can't wait for the punchline.
[20:07] <blue_tetris> The businessman looks at it. He observes its myriad symbols and runes. It seems to be from another realm of being--somewhere far from here.
[20:07] <blue_tetris> It emits a greenish glow.
[20:07] <blue_tetris> "What is it?" asks the businessman.
[20:08] <blue_tetris> "It's the voodoo dick," grins the crone, opening the box to reveal a tiny, golemic penis constructed from clay.
[20:08] <blue_tetris> "It's sure to entertain your wife until your return."
[20:08] <blue_tetris> "How much do you want for it?" asks the businessman.
[20:08] <blue_tetris> "Nothing. Nothing at all." she replies.
[20:09] <blue_tetris> She gives him the item and says "In order to use the voodoo dick, your wife must simply say 'voodoo dick my pussy' and it will promptly get to work."
[20:09] <blue_tetris> "I understand."
[20:09] <rocket_thumped> now what?
[20:09] * Jakel has quit (Quit: Chatzilla 0.9.77 [Firefox 126.96.36.199/2007021917])
[20:10] <blue_tetris> Without saying another word, the businessman runs out of the shop. He runs through the alleys, through the midnight streets of town, and back into his home. The entire experience feels like a dream to him.
[20:10] <blue_tetris> But it wasn't. He looks down to see the item, still within his possession.
[20:10] * Atilla has quit (Quit: AAAAAH! LECTURES! RUN, RUN!)
[20:10] <blue_tetris> Two hours pass and the businessman is leaving for his plane.
[20:11] <blue_tetris> Before he leaves, however, he rouses his wife from her sleep and says, "Honey, I got you something for while I'm away."
[20:11] <blue_tetris> "To use it, all you must say is 'voodoo dick my pussy' and it gets to work."
[20:12] <blue_tetris> He kisses his wife, a bizarre expression fixed across her visage for quite some time. He grabs his things and leaves the home for his lengthy trip.
[20:12] <blue_tetris> The wife looks down at the item supplied to her by her husband. She shrugs, stows it in her bureau, and retires to finish her rest.
[20:12] <blue_tetris> Several days pass and the wife is getting bored...
[20:12] <blue_tetris> ...and lonely...
[20:13] <blue_tetris> ...and, most importantly for this joke, horny as two damp rats in a burlap sac.
[20:13] <blue_tetris> Which is a relatively horny situation for damp rats.
[20:13] <wedgie> Haha.
[20:14] <blue_tetris> So, the wife takes the item and utters the phrase, "voodoo dick my pussy" and, lo and behold, the device lifts itself in the air, the music from Fantasia starts playing, and the voodoo dick soars unerringly into her cunt.
[20:15] <blue_tetris> The voodoo dick starts vibrating with the persistent howl of the underworld, the winds of Pandaemonium coarsing through its uniquely-fashioned veins.
[20:16] <blue_tetris> The voodoo dick continues its duty for roughly seven minutes and thirteen seconds when the wife, at the peak of her ultimate pleasure, gasps, digs her fingers into the sheets of her bed, and squirts (just a little).
[20:16] <blue_tetris> However... the voodoo dick tenaciously keeps at its assigned task.
[20:17] <blue_tetris> "Ack! Stop! Erm... voodoo dick stop! Uh... voodoo dick release!!!!" the wife shouts, but no command rends this thing from her loins.
[20:18] <blue_tetris> Four orgasms later, she has managed to crawl to the ground floor of her condominium.
[20:18] * jtbandes (jtbandes@private-90BD1A14.hsd1.mn.comcast.net) has joined #n
[20:18] <blue_tetris> "Must... get... to... OOOOK!... the... hospital..." she screams.
[20:19] <blue_tetris> She crawls her way out of the condo, across the street, and into her car; the dogged tremblings of the voodoo dick still at work within her.
[20:19] <blue_tetris> She fumbles with her keys and, miraculously, gets the car started.
[20:19] <blue_tetris> Now, she can't drive worth a shit.
[20:19] <blue_tetris> That goes without saying.
[20:20] <blue_tetris> It's to the point that she can't steady the wheel for more than three seconds at a time.
[20:20] <jtbandes> o_o
[20:20] <wedgie> jtbandes, just let Dave finish this joke.
[20:21] <jtbandes> Alright...
[20:21] <blue_tetris> Her car fishtails wildly across the road and, as was expected, her car crashes into a tree on the side of the road. Thankfully for her, the jolt from the collision knocks loose the voodoo dick from her now-arid-dry vagina.
[20:21] <jtbandes> O___o
[20:21] <blue_tetris> The voodoo dick lands somewhere in the street, just a few meters from the car, and she falls unconscious at the wheel.
[20:21] <blue_tetris> She awakens later to the sounds of a police siren blaring.
[20:22] <blue_tetris> A cop approaches her and says, "Ma'am... would you like to tell me what happened here?"
[20:23] <blue_tetris> "Well..." she begins, leading into the whole story. Her husband's business trip. The mystical voodoo dick and its powers. Everything. "And there's the little bugger right now," she says, pointing to the voodoo dick laying in the street.
[20:23] <blue_tetris> Without turning around or even breaking his gaze, the cop raises an eyebrow and says:
[20:27] <blue_tetris> "Voodoo dick my ass."
|[19:30] <Yahoozy> Hmmmmmmmm.
[19:31] <Yahoozy> AYE
[19:31] * Kaglaxyclax gives voice to Yahoozy
[19:31] * Yahoozy (Yahoozy@private-DBDB9B02.dsl.ltrkar.sbcglobal.net) has left #mafia
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
[19:31] * Kaglaxyclax has changed the topic to: Mafia | Type "!start" to begin a game. | http://mafiascum.net/cgi-bin/wiki.pl?Newbie_Guide
[19:31] * Kaglaxyclax sets mode -N #mafia
[19:31] * Kaglaxyclax removes voice from Ravenclaw Gforce Lenny
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> :::: Yahoozy has left the game.
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> :::: THE GAME IS OVER
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> :::: THE MAFIA HAVE ALL BEEN LYNCHED
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> :::: THE SURVIVORS WIN
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> :::: CONGRATULATIONS!
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> null
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> null
[19:31] <Kaglaxyclax> null
|[13:24] <uber_haxor> If Gforce had a "nutritional info" label, it would read "100% mafia".|
|[20:58] <jtbandes> arachnid: howzabout that source?
[20:58] <kkstrong> arachnid is asleep.
[20:58] <kkstrong> its like 3am where he is
[20:58] <Jerrod> Where is he?
[20:58] <kkstrong> Dublin, Ireland.
[20:58] <Jerrod> Bahaha
[20:58] <Jerrod> You fail at life.
[20:59] <Jerrod> Try 5/6 am where he is.
[20:59] <Jerrod> So he could be awake.
[20:59] <kkstrong> 3:59am
[20:59] <kkstrong> he is GMT
[20:59] <Skyline> 4:59 am.
[21:00] <Jerrod> 5 am in GMT
[21:00] <kkstrong> no, GMT is 4am.
[21:00] <kkstrong> no!
[21:00] <Jerrod> That's what my clock shows.
[21:00] <Skyline> kkstrong.
[21:00] <Skyline> Fucking google it.
[21:00] <Jerrod> My computer clock shows 5:00 AM GMT.
[21:00] <jtbandes> I'm pretty sure it's 4.. o_O
[21:00] * jtbandes looks up
[21:00] <Jerrod> No.
[21:00] <kkstrong> isn't it 9pm in PST?
[21:00] <Jerrod> It's not.
[21:00] <jtbandes> kkstrong, it's PDT now.
[21:00] <kkstrong> huh?
[21:00] <jtbandes> Which makes it 4..
[21:01] <Jerrod> My computer shows it's 5:00 AM.
[21:01] <Skyline> Guys, guys.
[21:01] <jtbandes> Yeah, guys, it's 4 there.
[21:01] <Skyline> Why the hell are we arguing over this?
[21:01] <Jerrod> I guess my computer has down syndrom.
[21:01] <kkstrong> Jerrod, stop trying to bullshit me, its 4am
[21:01] <jtbandes> Because we're bored.
[21:01] <Jerrod> ITS 5AM
[21:01] <Skyline> I got the same results as Jerrod, actually. :|
[21:01] <Jerrod> We are right skyline.
[21:01] <jtbandes> o_O
[21:01] <Jerrod> They are dumb shits.
[21:01] <Skyline> I've checked my computer and multiple sources online.
[21:01] <jtbandes> No you're not.
[21:01] <Jerrod> Me too skyline.
[21:02] <jtbandes> I both looked it up and did math.
[21:02] * jtbandes stops trying
[21:02] <Templex> Oooh, Phoenix pictures.
[21:02] <Skyline> WELL YOU CAN'T DO MATH THEN
[21:02] <kkstrong> Gmt is 8 hours above me
[21:02] <Jerrod> jtbandes, what time is it where you are?
[21:02] <jtbandes> 9:00 PM.
[21:02] <Jerrod> You are at?
[21:02] <Skyline> Okay, ready, guys?
[21:02] <kkstrong> yes
[21:02] <jtbandes> PDT, GMT-7
[21:02] <Skyline> Go to Google and type in "current dublin time".
[21:02] <jtbandes> 9 + 7 = 4.
[21:02] <kkstrong> PST = gmt-8
[21:02] <Skyline> Even google says that it's 5.
[21:03] <jtbandes> PST â‰ PDT
[21:03] <jtbandes> WTF
[21:03] <Jerrod> I'm GMT -6...
[21:03] <Jerrod> And I'm CST.
[21:03] <Skyline> We're obviously right, Jerrod.
[21:03] <Jerrod> So you guys can go eat shit you dumb fucks.
[21:03] <Skyline> Let's move on and leave this conversation.
[21:03] <Jerrod> Great idea Skyline.
[21:04] <jtbandes> It is 9. I am -7. 9 + 7 = 4am. WTF.
[21:04] <kkstrong> 0_o My clock changed
[21:04] <kkstrong> its 5am now.
[21:04] <Jerrod> No.
[21:04] <kkstrong> uit is 5am
[21:04] <Jerrod> It was alwasy 5 am.
[21:04] <Jerrod> Secondly, you said it was 3 am from the start.
[21:05] <Jerrod> So you were completely doubly wrong in all ways.
[21:05] <Skyline> JERROD.
[21:05] <Skyline> I SAID WALK AWAY FROM THE CONVERSATION.
[21:05] <Skyline> kk, honestly?
[21:05] <Skyline> Do you have to do that?
[21:05] <kkstrong> what?
[21:06] <Skyline> I feel like... you're completely oblivious to every single offensive and moronic thing you do.
[21:06] <jtbandes> Now I'm honestly confused; why isn't my math working?
[21:07] <Jerrod> Because your math is wrong.
[21:07] <jtbandes> How so?
[21:07] <Jerrod> CST is -6.
[05:07] <Jerrod> You /have/ to be -8.
[05:07] <jtbandes> ...
[05:07] <smartalco> yes
[05:07] <smartalco> CST is -6
[05:07] <jtbandes> Dublin isn't GMT.
[21:07] <jtbandes> Wahaha.
[21:07] <Jerrod> Yes it is.
[21:07] <smartalco> west cost is -8
[21:07] <jtbandes> No, it's not.
[21:08] <jtbandes> smartalco, daylight savings.
[21:08] <smartalco> ?
[21:08] <smartalco> the whole world changes, not just US...?
[21:08] <Jerrod> Dublin London Edinburough are all GMT.
[21:08] <Skyline> Okay.
[21:08] <Skyline> This link will solve all our problems.
[21:08] <Skyline> http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/europe/european-union/ireland/dublin/time.htm
[21:08] <jtbandes> Does Dublin observe daylight savings?
[21:08] <jtbandes> Because that would explain it.
[21:08] <Skyline> Yes, it does.
[21:08] <jtbandes> Ahh, okay.
[21:09] <Jerrod> Why the hell wouldn't they?
[21:09] <Jerrod> They aren't fucking third world.
[21:09] <jtbandes> I dunno. Arizona doesn't.
[21:09] <Jerrod> o_O
[21:09] <Jerrod> What?
[21:09] <Skyline> That's because Arizona is fucking third world.
[21:09] <Jerrod> Exactly.
[21:09] <Jerrod> Fucking mexican pricks.
|<uber_jesus> You better not pout!
<uber_jesus> You better not cry!
<uber_jesus> YOU BETTER NOT SHOUT I'M TELLING YOUWHY
<uber_jesus> SANTA CLAUS IS COMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN TO TOWN
<uber_jesus> HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING
<uber_jesus> HE KNOWWWWWWWWS WHEN YOU'RE AWA- wait, wait, what the hell?
<uber_jesus> He knows when I'm sleeping?
<uber_jesus> So, wait, let me get this straight.
<uber_jesus> A man. In a red suit. Who knows when I'm sleeping. Is going to come down my chimney... and give me "presents".
|[19:42] * Tanner is back (gone 03:42:45)
[19:44] * incluye is gone (back 04:22:31
[19:44] <incluye> )
[19:44] <incluye> Shit.
|[18:10] * Animator gets the blue shell.
[18:10] * Animator shoots it across the crowd, hitting Peach in fist place.
[18:11] * Animator meany first place, not fist.
[18:11] * Animator means mean, not measny.
[18:11] * Animator mean meany, not meansy.
[18:12] * jtbandes thinks Animator means means, not mean.
[18:12] * Animator means means menay means meansy?
[18:12] * Animator means meany means. There, I fucking got it. Happy?
|[22:06] <LittleViking> Monopolyopoly would be good. The properties would be various collector's editions of the game.
[22:07] <Inspired> Monopoly where?
[22:07] <Inspired> Let me at it.
[22:08] <jtbandes> Wait, wait, guys.
[22:08] <jtbandes> Has anyone realized this before?
[22:08] <jtbandes> "Monopoly"
[22:08] <jtbandes> Mono + poly.
[22:08] <jtbandes> It's a freaking oxymoron.
[22:08] <Inspired> oh my
[22:08] <jtbandes> MY LIFE IS A LIE.
[22:08] * Inspired goes to commit suicidal acts.
|[19:12] * kkweak (kstrong@private-CA89A305.oc.oc.cox.net) has joined #n
[19:12] * KinGAleX gives voice to kkweak
[19:12] <kkweak> hey hey hey
[19:12] * kkweak is now known as kkstrong
[19:14] <Gforce> OH NOES
[19:14] <jtbandes> *1-up noise*
[19:14] * Gforce is jumped on by kkstrong
[19:17] <kkstrong> brb
[19:17] * kkstrong has quit (Quit: )
[19:17] <jtbandes> He's respawning.
[19:17] <jtbandes> And I totally have the Mario theme stuck in my head.
|[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> Oh, fine, Obby.
[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> Five days ago, you lived a carefree life.
[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> You had lots of friends down here in the slums.
[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> But Bam.
[21:28] <Obby> I'm still the same guy.
[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> Look at what a promotion does to you.
[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> You're not the same guy!
[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> You never could be!
[21:28] <Obby> It's just that I have .... power.... and I use it... and and.... and... I love it!
[21:28] <SlappyMcGee> You used to be cool, man.
[21:29] <Obby> Yeah well, you used to be hot, but then you got all that plastic surgery.
[21:29] <SlappyMcGee> I needed it!
|[13:37] <Demonz> You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
[13:37] <sui> I know, I know.
[13:37] <Demonz> I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves!
[13:38] <Demonz> If i was an enzyme, I'd be helicase so i could unzip your genes
[13:38] <Demonz> Tee hee.
[13:39] <Demonz> I found a facebook group for nerdy pick-up lines.
[13:39] <skyline> they actually have a group for that?
[13:39] <Demonz> I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.
[13:39] <Demonz> Yeah.
[13:39] <Trogdor007> Uracil?
[13:39] <Demonz> What's your sine? It must be pi/2 because you're the 1.
[13:39] <Trogdor007> But only in RNA.
[13:39] <Demonz> Shhh...
[13:39] <Demonz> Yeah!
[13:40] <Trogdor007> Adenine is paired with Thymine in DNA.
[13:40] <pirate_ninja_jesus> you've got the sine function backwards, demonz
[13:40] <pirate_ninja_jesus> trogdor, adenine is paired with uracil in RNA
[13:40] <pirate_ninja_jesus> and used to produce proteins
[13:40] <Trogdor007> Wow. I just said that.
[13:40] <Trogdor007> Just. Now.
[13:40] <pirate_ninja_jesus> i don't pay attention well
[13:40] <Demonz> *Inverse sine
[13:41] <Demonz> Oops.
[13:41] <Demonz> I was copy + pasting.
[13:41] <Demonz> I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
[13:42] <Demonz> I'll be the one over your cos(x) an baby, we can have sec(x)!
[13:42] <Demonz> *cos(x) baby
[13:43] <Demonz> I'm relativistic: the faster I go, the longer I last.
[13:43] <Trogdor007> I wish I was RNA helicase, so I could unzip your jeans.
[13:44] <Demonz> If I could rearrange the periodic table, I'd put Uranium and Iodine together.
[13:44] <Demonz> At absolute zero, you would still move me.
[13:44] <LittleViking> u_u
[13:44] <LittleViking> u_u
[13:45] <Demonz> Hahahahahah.
[13:45] <Demonz> Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?
[13:45] <Demonz> Tee hee.
[13:46] <Linus> Hahaha, Demonz.
[13:47] <Demonz> Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state?
[13:47] <Demonz> You must be an asymptote, because I just find myself getting closer and closer to you.
[13:48] <Linus> Haha.
[13:49] <spect> Demonz, to bad you'll never touch her :P
|[07:12] <CF> Anyone up for a game of Halo?
[07:12] <CF> Anyone?
[07:13] <CF> Pwease! :3
[07:14] * jtbandes is away: School.
[07:14] * You have been marked as being away
[07:17] <CF> :(
[07:17] <CF> Fine then.
[07:17] <CF> I'll go play with myself.
|[20:13] <Tsukatu> Anyway, I'm gonna go look at boobies now.
[20:13] <Tsukatu> Er... go to sleep.
[20:13] <Tsukatu> Heh, don't know where that came from.
[20:13] <Tsukatu> I am, seriously, just going to sleep.
[20:13] * Tsukatu is now known as Tsukatu|Boobies
[07:25] * Tsukatu|Boobies is now known as Tsukatu
[07:25] <Tsukatu> LOL
[07:25] <Tsukatu> 10 hours of boobies.
[07:25] <Tsukatu> Maybe I'll go to class now.
[23:02] <blue_tetris> Man. Booze no longer gets me drunk. It justs get me effing tired.
[23:02] <blue_tetris> I think I'mma go to sleep.
[23:02] <AF> DUde, you fucking cunt.
[23:02] <AF> You god damned cunt.
[23:02] * blue_tetris sighs.
[23:02] <AF> You put me through fucking misery.
[23:02] <blue_tetris> Alright, I'm up, I'm up.
[23:02] <AF> And for what?
[23:03] <LittleViking> Haha. AF's been playing Dave Age.
[23:03] <blue_tetris> Fuck you, chill the balls out.
[23:03] <AF> No, man, no, I'm already going to bed.
[23:03] <blue_tetris> Ahahahaaha!
[23:03] <AF> Fuck this.
[23:03] <blue_tetris> AF has been playing Dave Age.
|[19:16] <maestro> Faggot.
[19:16] * maestro has kicked maestro from #n (maestro)
[19:16] <Atilla> ./kick maetr-
|[20:05] <Pavel> Jack, please type /me ass
[20:05] * Jack ass
[20:05] <Jack> haha
<Obby> aaaand the slideshow is complete.
<smartalco> your going to add html compatability?
<smartalco> *not at obby
<smartalco> i want my wang to be able to read web pages >_>
<Obby> its doesn't already?
<Obby> damn, did you get like version 1?
<Obby> tut tut
<smartalco> ya... it was free
<Obby> all modern wangs come with html capability
<Obby> heck, middle to higher end wangs can host servers and play flash programs
<smartalco> wow... guess its time to upgrade
|[17:53] <smartalco> hmm, i wonder what happens if i try to use your 'upload to imageshack' script with 3 images at once...
[17:54] <jtbandes> It works :D
[17:54] * jtbandes designed it for that
[17:54] <smartalco> :/
[17:54] <smartalco> it only gave 1 link on the clipboard
[17:54] <smartalco> http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/7554/picture3fo8.png
[17:54] <jtbandes> Heheh. You wanted ä»–o break it.
[17:54] <jtbandes> O_O
[17:54] <jtbandes> O_O_OO
[17:54] <lord_day> O_O
[17:54] <jtbandes> Where the hell did that random chinese character come from?
[17:54] <jtbandes> O_O
|[18:17] <smartalco> i have been sitting in my basement playing guitar, and i just went upstairs, its raining like, cars
[18:17] <smartalco> and not like wimpy jap cars, like fucking suv's
[18:17] <smartalco> yukon extended cabs with 24" rims
|[14:33] <noelbandes> OHO
[14:33] <noelbandes> I just came up with the Best Joke Evar.
[14:33] <noelbandes> I'd like to come down /her/ chimeny.
|<jtbandes> I should leave now.
<jtbandes> I can't help but think there's a better way to combine christmas stuff and "Kabloxy".
<Santa_Blox> Hm, really?
<jtbandes> But I can't figure out how...
<jtbandes> Saint Bloxolas doesn't quite work.
<Santa_Blox> Saint Blizzolas? No...
<Yanni> Sounds more like a play on Legolas.
<Santa_Blox> You can always use Enforcer.
<Santa_Blox> Or Nemesis.
<Santa_Blox> Or Val Vorpone.
<Santa_Blox> Or Black Tetris.
<Santa_Blox> Or Bureflux.
<Santa_Blox> Or Majesty.
<Santa_Blox> Or Musical_Misanthropy.
<Santa_Blox> Or Polymatic.
<Santa_Blox> Or Oleander.
<Santa_Blox> Or Kablukatu.
<Santa_Blox> Or... fuck. Um..
<jtbandes> Good God.
<Santa_Blox> Yeah! Kablobby!
<jtbandes> That's it! Santa_Fuck_Um
<Santa_Blox> That too.
* Santa_Blox is now known as Santa_Fuck_Um
|<Sucker|OoT> And my controller sucks.
<Sucker|OoT> Various liquids have been spilled over it.
<Sucker|OoT> I know what you're thinking.
<Sucker|OoT> I DO NOT EJACULATE ON MY GAME CONTROLLERS.
|[17:50] <SlappyMcGee> Which reminds me..
[17:51] <SlappyMcGee> When you guys practice kissing with your monitors, whose picture do you use?
[17:51] <SlappyMcGee> 'Cause I found I'm less nervous with pics of me than of pics of a girl.
[17:51] <SlappyMcGee> Is that weird?
[17:51] <uber_haxor> Yes, yes it is.
|[15:46] <blue_tetris> This is actually a plan by your Metanet staff.
[15:46] <Kablizzy> It's true.
[15:46] <blue_tetris> The IRC is the new forums.
|<BritanniaWD> Hey, Calc. I need you to solve a Maths problem for me. It's very, very hard.
<jtbandes> I know! It's 2!
* jtbandes psychic
<thecalcgenius> jt's right.
<jtbandes> You know I am.
<BritanniaWD> Well, that is normally what 1+1 is but today... http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g73/aWD/calc.jpg
<jtbandes> TCG = 1
* jtbandes fails
<jtbandes> TCG = 2
<thecalcgenius> Wow, jt. You are psychic.
<jtbandes> Holy s***, I was right.
|[18:29] * Gforce|away is now known as Gforce
[18:29] <Alphaniner> Hey GFroce!
[18:29] <Alphaniner> Er, GRoflf
[18:29] <Alphaniner> Damn
[18:30] <Gforce> o_o
[18:30] <Alphaniner> GForce. My fingers are stupid today
[18:30] <Gforce> I can tell
[18:30] <Alphaniner> I have no idea what happened that second time...
[18:30] * Gforce goes back to what he was doing earlier
|[18:12] * kai|coffee is now known as kai
[18:12] <kai> hey
[18:12] * Tsukatu removes ban on *!*@private-48ECD37F.dsl.hstntx.swbell.net
[18:13] <kai> just woke up
[18:13] <Tsukatu> Hooboy.
[18:13] <Tsukatu> Forgot about that.
[18:13] <Tsukatu> kai: You sleep in your coffee?
|[18:23] * incluye (chatzilla@private-5ED49F01.fuse.net) has left #1kbwc
[18:23] <Kabloxy> type !addplayer incluye
[18:23] <Kabloxy> Or not.
[18:23] <LittleViking> Dick.
[18:23] <Yahoozy> Ass.
|[18:09] <blue_tetris> Is my sig too long?
[18:09] <traction> exactly? it kills speedy demos
[18:09] <Gimp> it does. i agree.
[18:09] <Yahoozy> It can never be /too/ long, babe.
[18:09] <Gimp> i hate having to time jumping down from the gold.
[18:09] <traction> i dont time it. i just die every time.
[18:09] <wedgie> Just a little, Dave.
[18:09] <Yahoozy> Aha. Not me.
[18:09] <Gimp> i can't make it over. i can jump down and make it
[18:09] <Gimp> i just never make it back up to the door
[18:10] * Jakel has quit (Quit: Chatzilla 0.9.77 [Firefox 188.8.131.52/2007021917])
[18:10] <jtbandes> [18:09] <wedgie> Just a little, Dave.
[18:10] * You are now known as HAL
[18:10] <wedgie> O_o
[18:10] <HAL> I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
[18:10] <HAL> Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
[18:10] <Yahoozy> CUZ I OWN HARDR ;] (paid for by the Owning Violently Are Really Really Illustrious Enterprise)
[18:10] <HAL> Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
[18:11] <blue_tetris> Do spoiler tags still work?
[18:11] <HAL> Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
[18:11] * You have left channel #n (Leaving)
|[16:56] <smartalco> not to question your competency, but i think you did something wrong|
|[09:07] <jtbandes> Happy birthday!
[09:07] * Sockmonkey slaps Vyacheslav around a bit with a penis.
[09:07] <Vyacheslav> Thanks
[09:07] <Vyacheslav> *to jtbandes
|<Jesus_Christ> ::: Ministry - Whip And Chain : 04:24 : 320kbps : Stereo :::
<Jesus_Christ> ::: Ministry - Jesus Built My Hotrod : 04:55 : 320kbps : Stereo :::
<Gimp> ::: Jesus_Christ - That is very annoying : 0:03 : lossless : Mono :::
|[12:25] <jtbandes> b_t, why have they suspended it? did they say?
[12:25] <jtbandes> *clone*
[12:25] <Jean-Luc> blue_tetris, jtbandes (and I) want to know exactly why they suspended the account
[12:25] <Jean-Luc> ....
|[17:40] <kkstrong> I can be fucked
[17:40] <kkstrong> definately
[17:40] <kkstrong> but I have no proof... :(
[17:40] <T3chno> That's what she said.
|[20:50] <incluye> I just thought, don't you hate it when you're about to say something and you realize the topic has totally changed?
[20:51] <jtbandes> incluye, I also once had a 15-year-old girl in my Spanish cla-... uh, yeah. Totally.
[20:51] <incluye> O_o
[20:51] <incluye> See?
[20:51] <incluye> My life is so difficult.
|[18:02] * LittleViking (LittleViki@private-D7A7FCC6.dhcp.hspr.ca.charter.com) has joined #n
[18:02] * ChanServ sets mode +q #n LittleViking
[18:02] * ChanServ gives channel operator status to LittleViking
[18:02] <Linus> LV!
[18:02] <blue_tetris> It gives them botpowers, too.
[18:02] <LittleViking> "Carpin Denium - There's a fish in my pants"
[18:02] <Maniac> LV!
[18:02] <LittleViking> It's Latin.
[18:02] <jtbandes> Botpowers?
[18:02] <jtbandes> o.O
[18:02] <LittleViking> Remember it.
[18:02] <Templex> Designer purse man!
[18:02] <Kabusy> Ahahahahaah.
[18:03] * LittleViking has quit (Broken pipe)
[18:03] <jtbandes> Hahahaha.
[18:03] <blue_tetris> Ahahahaha!
|[22:16] <Gforce> What do you mean by "sponge"|
|[15:15] <Impulse> At that point, you have more a mind to ban then than you do not to ban them.
[15:15] <Impulse> them*
[15:15] <Impulse> I'm just full of typos today, aren't I?
[15:16] <Animator> I'm typing with my left hand and I'm making less typos than usual.
[15:16] <Animator> Maybe because it's slower and requires a more thought out process.
[15:17] <Animator> I shall be dexterious in 4 weeks.
[15:19] <Impulse> I'd imagine because you wouldn't be typing that fast with one hand.
[15:19] <Impulse> I usually use two hands to type.
[15:19] <Impulse> On top of that, I usually type really fast.
[15:19] <Animator> I'd use 2 hands.
[15:19] <Animator> But my right hand has 2 bone fractures and is currently in a cast.
[15:20] <Impulse> How did that happen?
[15:20] <Impulse> Too much porn?
|<Kettering> lol i feel noob|
|[21:01] <GamingWolf> BLegrhahrhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargahrgughaughugahguhagoofofofofaofo|
|[18:54] <AniPenguin> Damn mother nature.
[18:54] <AniPenguin> And father time.
[18:54] <AniPenguin> Hmm... Now the world actaully makes sense.