It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way...

This is the archive of the #N IRC Quotes Repository.

Only displaying quotes submitted by UniverseZero. You can remove this filter.

#2506
4.57/5
UniverseZero
2012-01-06
[17:23:11] <kuri> okay, so... this girl i like who was obsessed with me is sorta into another guy right now and its really bugging me. this -guy- is a real jerk and is sort of emo and moody and right now the girl i like is having spasms because he is allegedly trying to "off" himself
[17:24:06] <Universezero> Just stay calm, man. It's never good if you panic.
[17:24:25] <kuri> the whole thing is so completely dumb and i cant believe she would like a guy like that because im totally awesome and cool minus all the frigging issues everyone else has because honestly i am the most carefree kid in school
[17:25:07] <kuri> no, no uni i dont give a hoot about the guy trying to kill himself
[17:25:14] <kuri> its the girl i care about
[17:25:21] <kuri> :)
[17:26:20] <kuri> anyways we have a writing test tomorrow and im like panicking because its 11 o clock in new york time and i have to finish yet another dumb powerpoint presentation... this time about SPORT DRINK
[17:27:10] <@otters> it's never good if you panic
[17:27:13] <@otters> - UniverseZero
[17:27:35] <kuri> whoops
[17:28:56] <kuri> i am friends with a seventy something year old italian lady on facebook
[17:29:06] <kuri> were not related at all and she is sort of a pain in the neck
[17:29:20] <kuri> i think i wanna be a communist
#2589
4.46/5
UniverseZero
2012-06-17
[23:39:51] <~oughts> Let me tell you, Lenny's sister is no Aju's sister.
[23:40:08] <Universezero> What about aidiera's sister?
[23:40:24] <~oughts> Passable but no Skyline's sister.
[23:40:42] <Universezero> Yeah, but Skyline's sister is no Skyline.
[23:41:50] <~oughts> True, but Skyline is no Yahoozy's beard.
#1307
4.15/5
UniverseZero
2009-06-21
[13:33:39] <@Lenny> Hold on, my sister' skicking me off. :D
[13:33:43] <@Lenny> BAck soon hop[efully!
[13:33:58] <~cC> Your sister's sucking YOUR WHAT?
[13:33:59] <~cC> Oh.
#1572
3.80/5
UniverseZero
2009-10-20
<Zeph> I have a school social coming up, and it is recommended that we take lunch time dancing lessons
<Zeph> I realised today that I am no dancer
<superhubbardman> Was that before or after you gave your partner a concussion?
#2548
3.80/5
UniverseZero
2012-03-03
[13:44:47] <kuri> im knackered right now
[13:44:56] <SUNSET> i don't get it
[13:45:03] <kuri> i partied a lot today
[13:45:09] <kuri> saw some unpleasant things
[13:45:14] <BFG10K> Like tits?
[13:45:18] <kuri> no
[13:45:19] <SUNSET> kuri going to your house and drinking your dad's vodka then masturbating is not partying
#1663
3.78/5
UniverseZero
2010-01-13
[15:35:36] <@gloomp> Anyways, who passes up a southpaw sig?
[15:35:45] <@gloomp> Crazy people, that's who.
[15:35:51] <@gloomp> Like, bad crazy.
[15:36:21] <@gloomp> Murder-You-After-Torturing-You-in-Your-Basement-for-a-Week crazy.
#1021
3.71/5
UniverseZero
2009-01-04
<Universezero> I think I might go play Anathology now.
<Lenny> OKies. Enjoy!
<Universezero> I'll stay on IRC, but if you see a long break in my contribution, you know what I'm doing.
* Universezero is now known as UZ|PlayingLegacy
* UZ|PlayingLegacy is now known as UZ|Chores
<UZ|Chores> ;_;
* UZ|Chores away
#1910
3.33/5
UniverseZero
2010-07-05
<~Communist> Fine. She likes me. I don't know her that well... but anyway. Walk around the lake into the shopping mall tomorrow. I shall get to know her.
<&Universezero> Coo'.
<~Communist> So she'd like it to be a date, and I'm not sure. =P
<&Universezero> Go for the kill, bro.
<~Communist> Well, there is a lake nearby... if I take some concrete and a knife I could hide all the evidence...
<&Universezero> o_O
<~Communist> Wait. What kind of kill? o.o
<&Universezero> kill (noun): the lower part of the female reproductive tract; a moist canal in female mammals extending from the labia minora to the uterus.
<~Communist> That sounds too complex. I prefer knives.
#2798
3.30/5
UniverseZero
2013-04-21
[14:06:37] <@otters> Oh jesus, they're still using my forum theme.
[14:06:40] <@otters> holy shit.
[14:06:41] <Colgate> and never say shit.
[14:06:48] <@otters> fuck you, Colgate.
[14:06:49] <Colgate> /cs unban ender, stfu, colgate.
[14:06:50] <@otters> Hang yourself.
[14:07:01] <@otters> Only spanish speakers will get this joke.
[14:07:02] <Colgate> over my dead body and my body took of me, my phone speakers than any time and ridiculous, without a clop while mapping.
[14:08:18] <&charcuterie> colgate /quit communist
[14:08:19] <Colgate> /part randomdigits or /quit message
[14:09:27] <Uuni> colgate /quit
[14:09:28] <Colgate> wait, what type /msg #pony /quit communist cider.
[14:10:19] <Uuni> colgate
[14:10:20] <Colgate> colgate is complicated
#2494
2.91/5
UniverseZero
2011-12-28
[13:55:10] <nuStes> Wait wait waitwaotwi.
[13:55:17] <nuStes> Who the hell's bananagram>?'
[13:55:18] <Colgate> is hell's kitchen really triplet-filled?
[13:55:26] <bananagram> I'm some kid
[13:55:27] <nuStes> I don't even
[13:56:02] <bananagram> I won't molest you
[13:59:26] <Aidiera> I love kids!
[14:05:13] <nuStes> ._.
[14:05:40] <bananagram> so do I
#1718
2.71/5
UniverseZero
2010-02-08
[20:58:56] <ST|Sleep> Zeph, So, two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The guy on top or the guy on the bottom?
[20:59:11] <Zeph> Uhh
[20:59:13] <Zeph> I don't know
[20:59:25] <squibbles> the guy on the bottom
[20:59:30] <squibbles> because he's at the front
[20:59:31] <ST|Sleep> The guy on the bottom, as his shit's already packed.
#1045
2.55/5
UniverseZero
2009-01-14
<Turtle> Next time he quits, I say we bad mouth him
<Naczz> TURTLES!!! which map????????
<Turtle> Say rude things about his username
<Turtle> His ethnicity
<Universezero> >:D
<Naczz> ...
<Turtle> His earlobes
<Naczz> !!
<Universezero> o_O
<Turtle> You heard me
<Turtle> those things are huge!
<Universezero> o.O
<Turtle> You'd think a doctor could fix them, but noooo
<Naczz> turtles... which map????
<Universezero> Turtle?
<Turtle> We Americans have better things to do
<Universezero> Turtle?
<Turtle> Like get fat
<Naczz> ...
<Turtle> And invade countries
<Universezero> Turtle?
<Naczz> I am not american.. pheww..
<Turtle> And start photoshopping Palin onto women in Bikinis
<Universezero> Turtle!
<Turtle> Yes Universezero?
<Universezero> Shut up.
#1254
2.50/5
UniverseZero
2009-05-19
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[22:27:32] <@CF> Scythe fails.
[22:27:35] <@CF> That is all.
#982
2.38/5
UniverseZero
2008-12-01
<Axonn> I can make my dog shit by pointing my TV remote at it and pressing the VOLUME button.
#1068
2.22/5
UniverseZero
2009-01-26
<Snuggletummy> He hard one of my amazing zomgs.
<Snuggletummy> songs*
#993
2.12/5
UniverseZero
2008-12-08
<~AlliedEnvy> Just thank goodness you aren't a girl. They wear silly, uncomfortable clothes for silly reasons.
<UniverseZero> I am
<~AlliedEnvy> Oh.
<UniverseZero> Jokes
<UniverseZero> Sorry, couldn't help it
<~AlliedEnvy> *shrug*
<Base> You aren't then?
<UniverseZero> fuck no
* Base loses erection.
<UniverseZero> :OOO
* Quote too
<UniverseZero> :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#2086
2.10/5
UniverseZero
2010-10-16
[14:55:48] <Vyacheslav> Blackbird.
[14:55:51] * Blackson (matt@EF0355D8.925A66B5.F314288C.IP) has joined #n
[14:55:52] <Daik> bla-
[14:55:54] <Daik> O_O
#981
1.62/5
UniverseZero
2008-12-01
<&LittleViking> Every ten maps you make should have 11 exits.
<smartalco> aye
<smartalco> or if you are like a very few, and make a thousand maps, they collectively should have 94 extra exits
* smartalco pretends he just did some amazing math and gloats
<smartalco> hey guys, I'm better at math then you
<smartalco> >_>
#1439
1.50/5
UniverseZero
2009-08-04
[20:59:50] * ~Communist (chatzilla@8BB203E9.E3DEF13.34AE569B.IP) Quit (Quit: back in a minute, or your pizza is free!)
[21:00:54] <%Drathmoore> I'm timing this; I want that pizza...
#980
1.43/5
UniverseZero
2008-12-01
* shortshift has joined #n
<UniverseZero> hey ss
<shortshift> Hey
<UniverseZero> We're talking about diseases
<shortshift> O_o
<shortshift> What type?
<UniverseZero> Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
<shortshift> Oh shit
#1020
1.00/5
UniverseZero
2009-01-04
<+Lenny> I don't just, just looks weird.
<+Lenny> *I don't know.
#1612
0.75/5
UniverseZero
2009-11-22
[21:23:38] <superhubbardman> Hola
[21:24:03] <Communist> =D heya.
[21:24:14] <superhubbardman> Uzi got a gf
[21:24:19] <superhubbardman> and she is hawt
[21:24:29] <superhubbardman> I set them up :D
[21:24:55] <Orange> Did he fuck her?
#984
0.62/5
UniverseZero
2008-12-02
<Quote> What would be the opposite of UniverseZero?
<Pawz> NothingInfinite
<UniverseZero> Um... AtomInfinity?
<UniverseZero> Wait...
<UniverseZero> ZeroUniverse!
<UniverseZero> Zero = Nothing
<Lenny> The visible universe is 13 billion light years in radius.
<Lenny> Astronomy is fun.
<UniverseZero> Infinite is the opposite of Nothing
<UniverseZero> So ZeroUniverse
<UniverseZero> >logic<
<Supervisor> so universezero is an oxymoron
<UniverseZero> Yes it is, Supervisor
<UniverseZero> I just realised that...
<Supervisor> hah your a moron
<UniverseZero> -_-
<UniverseZero> Ha ha ha ha.
<Supervisor> my powers of deduction are unmatched
<UniverseZero> You are so funny.
<Supervisor> sorry... :(
<UniverseZero> I'd laugh harder, but I think my head would fall off.
<UniverseZero> Seriously, that's the funniest joke I've heard all day.
<UniverseZero> Considering I spent the day curled up under a rock.
<Supervisor> I am confused, i wish IRC had sarcasm detectors...
<UniverseZero> [/MEGAEXTREMESARCASM]
<Supervisor> now i feel like i kicked a retarded puppy.
<UniverseZero> Damn straight
<Lenny> Hahaha. What a metaphor.
<UniverseZero> Don't kick the puppy
<UniverseZero> He bites back
<UniverseZero> /w sarcasm
<Supervisor> Don't kick the puppy... Make hot dogs instead
<Supervisor> what is an awesome movie?
<UniverseZero> Supervisor: The Glory Days IV
<UniverseZero> Supervisor: Silvermember
<Supervisor> ... stop speaking now...
<UniverseZero> Supervisor and the Kingdom of the Crystal Puppy...